I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
farters have to be the big spoon...
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
