It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
