i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
