And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i came on her dog
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
