Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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