So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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