That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
