those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize