It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
the room spins SO much faster in panama
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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