no, he came in my armpit
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
