i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
