Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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