Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
