My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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