I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Sorry my hands just texted you
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
