Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
