Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
