Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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