2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
