it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
