You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
