shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
