just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
