I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
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