So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
