He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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