you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize
