This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
