Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
