A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He shit in the fireplace
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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