I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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