im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
