How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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