Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
