I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
