I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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