Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
