Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
