I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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