Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
