I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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