I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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