Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
