You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
