Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Randomize