bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
