Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
