every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
