im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
