I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
