didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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